I don’t know the “theme” of this year and I don’t know why but I find that creating “themes” for particular days like this is weird. It’s like I get it but I also don’t understand why it needs to have a subject matter or way of portaging something. Especially for something like mental health, there is no one quick fix, one thing or one size fits all. I do know that it can be painful, confusion, stressful, head bashing, but insightful, rewarding and a rollercoaster. The word rollercoaster is cliche I know but when you want to do well, achieve more and have gratitude placed in your heart, but your mind is constantly telling you that you don’t deserve it, or you won’t get there, it’s the only word that comes to mind.
We only get one life that’s true, and yes we should try and do what we can, live each day and love the things that make you happy, but it can be b*oody hard no? If I’m honest, I am sometimes tired of trying to understand my mind, why it does the things it does , and the effects it has on my emotional and physical health. It is not cute that I can cry at someone saying “put on a smile love life ain’t that awful”, that I want to scream at the top of my lungs a lot of the time, and when I do want to talk about stuff, interact with others, it’s like my tongue has frozen.
So I say this: whilst life still exists, I am still existing - with a lot of damning thoughts, words and actions at times. But I’m still here. We’re still here and whilst there is a “limit” of some sort, there is NO limit to being who you can be, who you can love, what you can do. There is no timeframe, no manual or script and in a weird way, my mental health has taught me that in some of my crying sessions. My mental health is unpredictable in the same way that life is, and if we deal with that everyday, then yeah we really are the most bravest of all.
You are the most bravest, you are everything.