• Trina

I Wanna Know Know Know ...What is Love?

Valentine is coming, where’s your ... ? You are sitting at home, enjoying yourself I hope.

Whew now let me not lie, I used to be someone that fully did not give a heck about Valentine’s Day, and I used to think it’s because of the fact it would be everywhere. As soon as Christmas would stop and the middle of January arrived, I would already be hearing “oooh Valentines, oh romance etc etc”. However, like any other public holiday, we run with it and feed into the hype and shopping surrounding it - a day to treat someone you care about or are fond of is no different.

Moreover, in hindsight, I think I have been tainted from the replies of such Twitter topics like “who should pay on the first date” to the foolishness that guys do on a daily, and more importantly, the consensus my generation has towards dating and relationships at times. Many things surrounding love have always been a talking topic and when I read these things, it does make me consider, how do you have friends, who in the heck would want to deal with a mindset like that? But then again I remember, we are all different and the phrase does still stand - there is someone for us out there.

Yet still, 16 and even a 20 year old Trina did not believe that. I believed that Valentines Day was a cruel reminder that those who do not celebrate with chocolate covered strawberries, roses and that classic rosé watching a romance film, was the reminder that I, amongst many others, are deemed to not be enough romantically - not desireable. Needless to say, it can be quite painful, not having a significant other or at least people flocking to the DMs, and it’s one that can be valid to think. There will be patronising people that say, Valentines isn’t all that, but it can be for a lot of people - their significant others may not show them love everyday and this is the one day they do, some may really want some TLC on this day and some just don’t want to think of this day because it’s a lot.

Nevertheless, the bigger question is “Can love really be defined from this one day alone?” I don’t know if by society’s standards I would be qualified to answer, because at 23, I literally have spoken romantically to three people, never been on a date, nor a kiss, or regularly talk to a significant other, but thats what life has written in my story so far. It is easy to say that love does not exist, people are trash and what’s love got to do with it. Although I do think that love is formed in many a way though, and it is not linear, it is expressed in many forms, many different types of relationships and different people. In other words, Love is just an art of affection and appreciation to whoever you deem fit to have, and that’s on that.

Therefore this day, please celebrate it how you wish and remember, the love you want to share is for you to have. Whether you are dating, talking, married, committed or loving yourself, I really would love for us to continue to focus on these things and not solely what the TL says. Valentines Day, particularly this year, is hopefully an extra special day of appreciation, fondness and acceptance of all the love that is out there in the world. Whilst yes, we can say with the happenings of life, people got us questioning where is the love, the times that it does really shine through for all of us to smile about.

So, if you want to hit up the three people asking you your plans (in lining with lockdown rules) please enjoy the galentines zoom calls, or gifts being sent, the little things that someone may do for you and remember also, this is a Valentines that will really expose people because your man can still make it special, even in a panoramic okay?? In contrast, a little self love & sadness is okay too, because if you are like me, you are probably just waiting for someone who can write a song like Kim Namjoon did with Trivia: Love and that’s okay (seriously, check it out bc the wordplay?? Whew).

I used to think that love really meant having someone and if you did not have someone by your side, that you would be a lost cause. But No it’s not, and you DO have people that care about you, it’s just that someone hasn’t found it’s way to you. For me personally, I am honestly working on myself and enjoying not giving a heck about the aunties that say I need to work on finding hosband, and I am going to enjoy the glasses of moscato and the food I will pig out on.

Valentines is coming, and if you are sitting at home lonely, there is a heavy percentage that are doing the same. It sucks and we can be in our feelings about it (I will be), but the enjoyment on our lonesome can still be on par with those that have that special someone.

For one thing, if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else can I get an Amen??

Trina x

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